Golf Fore the Good

It was supposed to be a relaxed, enjoyable Sunday road trip to a great new private golf course. For my husband it has turned into a turf toe nightmare.

Turf toe is a form of a condition known as hallux limitus. Hallux limitus is defined as pain in the big toe and decreasing range of motion of the joint of the big toe.

Seriously: turf toe. It is even recognized by the Mayo Clinic. According to their website “this injury occurs most often in sports that require quick direction changes, such as football, soccer or rugby.” There is no mention made of turf toe in golfers.

It is now more than a week after the onset of my husband’s malady. Most of us have finally managed to wipe the tears from our eyes - those of laughter, not sympathy - only because we realize it is inappropriate to laugh at a man who is on crutches and wearing a post-op boot.

A group of eight local players had been offered an invitation to play an off-season round at the newest private golf course in the area. What the guys were not prepared for was that this off-season invitation found them looking at a semi-closed facility when they arrived. I guess they clear the course before they issue invites to the muni riff raff.

Actually, the course was in wonderful condition, but since the club house has yet to be finished they were scaling down available services due to the off season. And no one had mentioned that motorized carts would not be available.

A lack of golf carts wouldn’t normally be that much of a problem, especially to the experienced players on this little excursion. However, my husband happened to be in the group, along with a couple of other golfers who don’t normally walk and carry their clubs. Arriving with monster leather cart bags, their choices were limited: miss the opportunity; literally drag around their over size bags for eighteen holes; or accept the gracious offer from the staff for the use of some high end push carts.

Push carts it was. In retrospect, with a lack of fore-caddy info, this might not have been the best decision of the day.

Apparently the golf course isn’t really meant to be a walking course. Though I’ve scoured their website I find only a vague reference to “rolling coastal land.” Only one photo shows tiered, elevated tee boxes. There is no mention of the monstrous elevated tees and greens, the seeming miles between holes or the thick gorse and grasslands the cart-pushers would have to navigate without the benefit of walking paths; all very nice details for creating a pleasurable golf experience, in general. Not nice for a man who, though he plays a considerable amount of golf, spends more time at the 19th hole than he does on any combined round of eighteen.

Thank goodness for good friends. While they never actually picked him up and carried him up the heathery slopes of the tee boxes, they kept a close eye on his progress and a finger poised to dial 911 if needed. Well, the big guy made it through the day, albeit fairly worn out from the eight mile walk.

It wasn’t until much later that we realized what a toll the round had taken on his body. His mournful cries lessened throughout the following day as he shook off the aches and pains of rarely used muscles; all but the limp, which seemed to get progressively worse.

“Eureka!” he bellowed from the back office the next day, where he was methodically scouring the internet for medical advice to ease his pain. I had suggested tossing out the butts and getting a gym membership but he was sure he could find a less painful treatment. “I have turf toe!” he proclaimed.

Who could have known? Were we cut from a different clothe, we might actually pursue damages from the golf course. Is there not blatant and inexcusable neglect shown by sending guests out on such a hazardous course, with no posted signage with regard to the inherent risk of contracting turf toe from navigating their precipitous links?

Let no one ever say that golfers aren’t real athletes. It gets rough out there - just ask my husband.